Posted by: lucylightning | May 11, 2012

Gaumont International Television= Idiots

by Lucy Leitner

Some incredibly disappointing news today from the werewolf front: a month before filming was set to commence in Pittsburgh, Gaumont International Television—heretofore referred to as the Idiot Producers—have pulled the production from Western Pennsylvania.

Pittsburgh Film Office director Dawn Keezer calls the Idiot Producers’ decision “disappointing on many levels.” This is a greater affront to the city than anything that Marian Hossa ever said or did.

Brian McGreevy, the author of the book on which the Netflix series is based, has been in Pittsburgh for the past week and calls this recent turn of events “heartbreaking.” A Charleroi native, McGreevy set his books in the area and was planning to appear at Villa South Side with director Eli Roth for a Q&A on May 17. That event was also cancelled.

Apparently the Idiot Producers couldn’t figure out the tax credit here. Note to the IRS, remember the name Gaumont International Television. If they can’t understand the damn tax credit, I can’t imagine what their books look like.

Due to economics, the filming has been relocated to Pittsburgh’s anemic, club-footed, lazy-eyed body double Toronto. Your lowballing ways already stole George Romero. Though he still sets his movies back on the mainland. How does that make you feel, Toronto? You are the municipal equivalent of a scooter (see definition #2).

This is the last straw, Canada—we are officially taking hockey. It’s been ours for some time anyway.

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